Centauri Dignitary: You want a bagel?
Londo: Yes.
Centauri: There is not a bagel in the whole quadrant, you could not a bagel.
Londo: Not a bagel?
Centauri: No, not a bagel!
Londo: Anything else?
Centauri: I could get for you a...
Vir: Excuse me, as long as you're going to be out, can you.. those little potato things...
Centauri: But he wants a knish!
Londo: A knish would be good, and some bialy.
Centauri: I could get for you a bialy. Now a bialy I could get for you.
Londo: Go ahead, leave us alone, now. We're going to work this out...
Keffer: Attach homing beacon and... and... and.. and do something else...
Ivanova: My back's to camera. I can fuck up all I want.
Delenn: So, tell me of home, Lennier. I have been away far too long.
Lennier: Beatlemania is back.
Garibaldi: Someone's trying to frame me for the explosion in the Cobra bay. They planted a schematic of the bay and a pouch of Centauri ducats in my quarters.
Londo: Cen-tar-ri?
Garibaldi: Cen-tau-ri.
Londo: Po-tay-to?
Garibaldi: Po-tah-to.
Londo: To-may-to?
Garibaldi: To-mah-to.
Both: Let's call the whole thing off!
Mimbari: Because we are the same, you may ask your questions. If you can tolerate the answers.
Lennier: Who... who carved your bone? It's a fabulous design!
Mimbari: Same, guy, same guy. It's just this new thing he's doing...
Garibaldi: This is pretty cool stuff, huh? Watch the show- Wednesday nights, 8.00pm, Channel 17.
Sheridan: And we will not... What will we will not?
Franklin: O.K, 30 cwedits. Cwedits?
Garibaldi: Wow, ya screwy wabbit!
Londo: 500 Centauri ducats. That will buy you everything you need.
Garibaldi: You're being awfully generous...
Londo: Can I go back and say ducats again? Fucket!
Franklin: But if she's sick... I'm surprised you didn't call in one of your own doctors.
Lennier: Great idea! I didn't think of that. You're dismissed...
Keffer: I don't remember the line.
Sheridan: Ooh, have some of that! That good fattening crap. Yeah, that's good.
Ivanova: Hey, shut up! I don't need any comments on the peanut butter either.
Sheridan: You looked at your butt lately? Ooh, some quiche; can't even spell it. And try that human ear; it's from a tree called Vangoghs. Very fattening. And there's some good rice to loosen the bowels...
Ivanova: Shut up...
All the profanities as they appeared on the gag reel.
Sheridan: Ah, fuck it.
Sheridan: Ah, fuck.
Franklin: Fuck.
Sheridan: Ah, shit.
Franklin: Er... ah, shit!
Sheridan: Ah, shit!
Sheridan: Shit!
Corwin: Goddamn it!
Sheridan: That motherfucker's... it's, er... gassing up to shoot!
Warrior Caste: Get up!
Lennier: No.
Warrior: sorry...
Londo: That bastard G'Kar! He said he knew nothing about this! G'KAR!!!
Vir: G'KAR!!!
Sheridan: God I'm way off! I couldn't be more off the fucking mark!
Rameirez: I'm gonna have a great dinner on your 30 credits, Doc.
Franklin: Dream On!
Garabaldi: Hit the road! Get Fucked!
Sinclair: Where's the Hyperion?
Ivanova: On the other side. The enemy sheeps keeping them between us...
Sinclair: Well to hell with them!
Sinclair: Interesting. I've heard it was the religious caste who issued the religious... kerfungabooboo...
Londo: Come on, Commander. Loosen up! You're supposed to enjoy yourself!
Sinclair: I am.
Londo: Good!
Garibaldi: But if that's true, then whoever tried to kill her probably doesn't even remember trying to do it. And that wasn't even close to the line, so we'll do it again. One more time. O.K...
Sinclair: Proctologist for the commander, please.
Vir: If I return without a 'yes', the consequences will be profoundly... bad.
Londo: I tawt I taw a puddy tat. I did, I did see a puddy tat.
Ivanova: My god, whoever's piloting that shuttle's a madman!
Londo: Ahh, just like Ragesh 12... There is no connection to the 405 here... We'll have to take the Long Beach... We'll take the Long Beach, is that alright? First the Long Beach, then the 405. Alright, I know where we're going now. There'll be a bathroom stop in about 10 minutes.
Drall: I hope so.
Rameirez: Rameirez, go.
Computer: Lt. Rameirez, you're going to die at the end of this episode. You need to pick up your cheque now.
Rameirez: Yeah, I'll be right there.
Lennier: We're having a little trouble with Satan, but we'll be right back.
Sinclair: So, you know this Major Kemmer?
Garibaldi: Oh, yeah. I slept with her a couple of times.
Londo: Thank you for the sensitivity, Captain. I do not lie when I say: This could have been a major... something.
Garibaldi: Yours?
G'Kar: No, your mother's!
Garibaldi: No, my mother is more like this.
G'Kar: Get out!
Garibaldi: I don't think it's time for me to go. I'm suddenly feeling stimulated.
Garibaldi: Hey wait a second. Hold up. I know her. It's, it's Lyta.
Franklin: Who?
Garibaldi: Lyta!
Franklin: Who... who be Lyta?
Garibaldi: THE BITCH!
Sheridan: What the hell am I saying?
Ivanova: I mean, everyone always said that it was impossible to take out a... a Wimbari Morecruiser? Shit...
Garibaldi: Yours?
G'Kar: No, your mother's!